I Take It Back

Ben's not the assface I said he was in my last post. He really isn't.

Actually, we've been quite civil to each other lately. No bitching, no teasing... just acting like civilized adults. We may talk/write notes to each other during class like we were in elementary school, but we're being good.

He's been helping out a lot from the goodness of his own heart. SERIOUSLY!!

Example: Sunday night, as I was studying for an upcoming microbiology lab exam, he IMs me, asking "How much do you love me?" Before I could say anything, he sends me a review he has made for said lab exam.

I'm just like "Ummmm... what?"

Yeah, he's being nice.

And I'm being nice by sending him all my outlines so he can create a review for the lecture class this coming Monday. What a guy!!

As for Brett, he's going through some shit right now; so I won't bother him.

I'm All... GRRRR Right Now.

Besides the retail therapy I had today, my day was pretty much bonkers, for a lack of a better word.

First, my "best gay", Derek and I talk about the weekend he's supposed to come visit and what we're going to do. As all girls do, they want their cute ass boyfriends to meet their cute ass gays and I'm no exception.

But I made the mistake of not explaining things throughly. In one breath, I asked if he was sure he wanted to hang out in Oaklawn and that my cute ass boyfriend was a republican (and I'm a democrat. It's the Schwartzenegger-Shriver thing). Well... Derek thought I wanted to do a change in venue because of my boyfriend and decided right then and there that he didn't want to meet him. This of course gets me upset because it's pretty vital. Derek was saying that he didn't want to be around closed minded people when he, himself, was being closed minded as well.

Before I could explain anything, something happened and he had to go back to work (he's in TV news and it was a breaking story). I was pretty much livid because of his closed mindedness and even texted him about it.

This morning, he calls and apologizes for not realizing how important meeting Brett is to me and for him to say he didn't want to meet him was rude. He also forgot the fact that I get upset real easily and was hoping I wasn't crying.

At this time, I explained why I wanted a change in venue: my friend from the Philippines is also visiting that weekend and she wants to get dressed at my place and go out; so I have to pick her up and take her back to the house. Sebastian doesn't have a car; so I have to pick him up too. So far that's from Fort Worth to Somewhere Near the Airport back to Fort Worth and then to Mansfield. If I added Derek to the carpool line, I'd have to go to Grapevine AND THEN to our final destination: Cedar Springs in Dallas. Even though gas is getting cheaper, it's still not the 99 cent/gallon I remember; so pretty much this whole trip would probably be eating up all my gas tank. So, in my opinion, going to Fort Worth might be cheaper and won't put a dent in my wallet/gas tank.

Make sense? Yeah... I don't know. I'm kinda drunk right now as I'm writing this, but to sum it all up: Never getting a chance to explain, Derek takes things the wrong way and realizes he's an ass for it and I finally get to explain things.

So... that was this morning. Tonight is a whole different thing.

Robert (AKA - the straight guy I found at a gay bar) called again. If you read my last post, I thought he made it very clear that neither he nor I want to talk to each other ever again.

He leaves the (almost) exact same message from last night with the exact same attitude, but now it's more like "wah, you never call me. have pity on me."

It's really getting old, but I'll tell you one thing, the boy's presistent. Can't say he doesn't give up easily.

But like I said, it's getting old. I'm getting busier and busier as each school day passes. I'm also trying to ward off the evils (i.e. -- Ben) I encounter everyday. And truthfully, that can get tiring.

He's a good kid, but I'm sorry, I just don't have time (or the patience) for this bullshit.

So yeah... that's was my day. Fun, I know.

Oh Lordy.

Before I go into what happened this week, I just want to say something about the late and great Ann Richards, one of the best governors that Texas ever had.

She was a sassy lady with a voice that no one will ever forget. I always loved listening to her on the radio or the television. Heck, I even watch that King of the Hill episode where she dated Bill over and over again.

She was brass and had sass. Most Texans love her.

But I know for a fact that she's watching down on us from heaven while giving hell up there, but I'm sure God won't mind.

Anyways... this week has been not so good.

I Despise You

Remember how I said Ben was being nice? Yeah... I totally take that back. I totally despise him, yes I do.

It all started when I was just trying to be nice in class when I invited him to come out with me and Sebastian for Pride weekend (only because I know he's bi and won't admit it) and he said "I would rather get my teeth pulled out than hang out with you."

After that, he proceded to hit on me... constantly. What a weirdo.

And then we had to get into groups to discuss the difference between Eukaryotic and Prokaryotic cells. I pretty much talked to my group... all except Ben. He kept trying to talk to me, but I said "Dude, I'm not talking to you. You're being mean."

And then HE PINCHED MY ARM.

Yes, you read right. Are we five years old again?? Seriously. He tells me he doesn't want to have anything to do with me and then he tries to hit on me and when I don't respond, he pinches me.

What a bastard.

So yeah... I totally despise Ben. Brett hates him too and is on a search for him right now. I told him it was useless since Ben still lives with his parents and I have no clue to what his dad's name is.

So yeah... I hate Ben and Ben acts like he hates me, but just really wants to get in my pants.

Straight Boy Troubles

Okay, so I get a phone call from Robert, the straight man I found in a gay bar in Dallas. I didn't mean not to answer, but I didn't get to it on time.

But he did leave me a "nice" message:

I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore. I just got my phone turned back on and I could recieve calls, I just couldn't make them. Well... good luck in everything you do.

What. The. Fuck.

Okay, first off, I have a boyfriend now. End of story.

Second off, everytime I talked to him, he had this attitude I didn't like. He expected me to want to hang out with him when in reality, I've been either sick or busy with school. I even tried to have him hang out for lunch or something, but he was "too tired". He said I kept making excuses, but how can it be an excuse when it's the truth?

And finally, did I mention I have a boyfriend now?

Now why would I go talk to him now if he thinks I'm making excuses for not wanting to hang out? I find it very annoying when someone contradicts me.

And now I have to see him this weekend? Yeah... I'm avoiding JRs... even if it's the place I really want to go to this weekend.

Anyway, enough complaining. How are you guys?

Last Call Casualty

Currently Playing on the Ipod: Love Me or Hate Me by Lady Sovereign
Current Mood: Awake

So, it's Monday again and I'm awake... again.

I don't know what's worse: my insomnia or my worries. My worries are probably the cause of my insomnia, but what do I know? I'm not a doctor and even then, my doctor's a quack (more on that later).

I could do homework, but it's been done and all I need to do is buy a scantron and put in the answers.

I could lie in bed again and pray to God that I fall asleep. He hasn't delivered in the past few days.

Anyways, back to the news or whatever.

Everybody Hurts... Literally.

Remember Brett? Remember how he used to be with the phone calls and such? Well... it looks like it started again (remember, it's his busy season right now), but after thinking ill of him this whole time, I feel like crap.

You see, about a month ago he went to LA for a wedding and he was about to come back and before he even stepped into the plane, his appendix ruptured.

Yes, you read right. HIS. APPENDIX. RUPTURED. Always no bueno, as you know, when an appendix burst, it could be life threatening.

Anyways, within two hours of this happening, he got it taken out and was supposed to be on his way home. Unfortunately, he wasn't healing very well and stayed there for a couple of more weeks until they shipped him home.

Once I found out he was shipped home, my anger level went from the red zone to about yellow. After finding out all this, I felt like an ass for thinking ill of him. All I wanted to do was give him a big hug and tell him I'm sorry, but for medical reasons, I couldn't do that (which, again, I'll explain later).

And he still wasn't healing very well and had internal bleeding; so they opened him up again to see what the heck is wrong with him. I pray to God that he's going to be alright. All I want is to have him back and everything will be okay.

As for the aforementioned medical condition of mine, I'd like to say my doctor is a quack. Seriously, he is. I felt like crap for about a week before I went to the doctor (only because I had to wait for my health insurance card, damn bastards) and had a lump on the side of my neck that swelled. Yeah, that always sucks. And of course, it's tonsillitis.

It's always fucking tonsillitis. I've had tonsillitis for the past 5 years at an average of 2 or 3 times a year.

And of course, there had been no plans taking out the offending tonsils. This time he said it's because it's swollen to huge porportions and I totally understand that, but seriously, I don't need this pain anymore.

If it's "tonsillitis" again, I'm going to another doctor to get a second opinion. Antibiotics are nice, but just get rid of the problem already.

School.

School just sucks.

Microbiology isn't so bad, and Ben (yes, I dropped the "Creepy" part, but just this once) has been nice to me. I gave him fair warning that I might/might not be going to school last Wednesday because the the tonsillitis thing, but I ended up going. He saw me outside the classroom and gave me the usual high-five and was surprised I even showed up. He said he was going to type up the notes and e-mail them to me.

Yeah, I know it sounds normal, but this is Ben we're talking about. Ben, the guy who wants me to sleep with his dad (NEVER). Ben, the man who said "I love you" within 48 hours of meeting me. Ben, the man who said he would date me if I gained 20 more pounds (yeah, that's never going to happen). Yes... that Ben is being nice for once.

As for the second part of anatomy, well... I almost had a panic attack because I didn't know we had a quiz. Not that the quizzes are going to kill me, but the fact that I didn't know about it and everyone else did, scared me.

Granted, I did miss a class because I was sick, but still... someone could have warned a girl.

Exes

My recent ex, Jay, keeps messaging/texting me. I think he misses me. Oh well.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention he broke up with the girl he left me for? Karma bit him in the ass, that's for damn sure.

Needless to say, I laughed in his big fat face. He was always such an idiot. I hope he learned his lesson: Girls like me make guys like him cry.

I may have been too high maintanenced or "jealous" for him (the "jealous" part was all him and he broke up with his skanky ho for the same reason and I lasted 7 months), but I know for damn sure that white trash guys aren't for me.

Well, it's that time again where I'm gonna try to get some sleep.

As it is 9/11, make sure you remember and pray for all those victims and their families. It's been 5 years and we'll never forget. I know I won't. Last year, at my friends wedding, I met a man who was at Ground Zero when it all went down. He's retired now and safe with his family.

Anyway, ciao bitches.