I've Become What I Hate The Most

[EDITOR'S NOTE]: Not safe for little eyes or someone who is easily offended. You've been warned.

Okay... so, there's this guy I've known for about year and we talk and such. Personality-wise, he's everything I've dreamed of: a nice, sweet, funny guy who is intelligent enough to have my attention for more than 2 minutes (and you all know I'm pretty much A.D.D. when it comes to most people).

The thing is... he's not that good looking. Okay, he's not too unfortunate looking, but it's hard to talk to someone when you're looking down at the floor most of the time.

Phone conversations, yeah, I can deal with them. I don't have to look at him; just listen to his Clinton-like voice (which is pretty funny since he is a staunch Republican) soothe everything away.

But when he talks about going out on a date, I cringe a little. I can't talk to him in person without looking him in the eye; so how's it going to be like... you know... doing other stuff? I guess I can close my eyes, but what good would that do?

And so, he keeps calling/texting me and I ignore him. He keeps asking how I'm doing and such and it makes me retch when he texts me about going out.

Yeah, so basically, I've become what I hate the most. I know the guys I like do this to me and yet, I'm still holding on.

Am I that shallow to turn away some guy because I think his teeth are fucked up and I can't look at them without wanting to run to the bathroom and pull a "rescue-a-date" on him (damn, someone stole my idea!!! LOL)

Am I that bitchy?