Monday, July 11, 2005


Currently Playing: Scars by Papa Roach

Gawd... I feel so emotionally drained tonight. What is it with guys jerking me around?

Do I have "Naive" written on my forehead or something??

Gawd, I swear. It seems like this whole summer is filled with jerks coming in and out of my life. I'm seriously thinking about swearing of men for the rest of my life...

Seriously, tonight was just... heartbreaking. This guy I've been talking to lately just straight up told me he just wants to get laid.

Yeah... I KNOW!!!

Props for his honesty, but lying in the past just doesn't change that. Don't fucking say you want to be with me and fucking whatnot when all you want to do is have a little sex and that's it.

He was nice. He seemed like a good kid.

Look, just because I have big boobs and seem kinda dumb at times that doesn't mean I'm slutty.

I have brains too, ya know? I don't think I can emphasis that too much.




This is what I get looking for good in ALL people. This is what I get for being nice. This is what I get for giving the benefit of a doubt.

I get freakin screwed over.

I'm sorry. I had to vent.

All in all, this guy still wanted to talk. He didn't want me to leave crying or mad.

"I'll call you," I said... and hung up.

Hopefully, everyone knows what "I'll call you" means. If you don't, you need to get out more and stop fucking around with people's minds.

Anyway, I leave you with some lyrics from Scars.

I tear my heart open
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

These lyrics just tore my heart at the fact that it sounds like me. Yeah, I know... there's a piece of everyone in these lyrics, but it fits... at least right now.

Thank you guys for listening to me rant. I know it's not the most attractive thing, but it's something I gotta do.

On a lighter note...

We finally finished making the centerpieces for my friend's wedding. They turned out nice. I'm particularly too lazy to show you the pics, but I promise to put them up. Mom wants me to steal one for her. LOL.

I'm also the last single bridesmaid. Lauren (the Maid of Honor) is engaged now. She deserves the bouquet. I already have 6 of them in the past 13 years (yes, I caught one when I was 11) and still... not one wedding/engagement/whatever. Not too worried though. I know my time will come.

Oh yeah... this lady (one of my friend's family friends... confusing, I know) tried to set me up with this "nice Christian man", but I digress. You need to hear the whole story.

I was at my friend's kid's 3rd birthday party and I'm just chillin when this lady comes up to me and asked how old I was and if I had a boyfriend. As soon as I said no she said, "You should really have a boyfriend. I'll set you up with a nice Christian man."

Okay... since when is having a boyfriend so important at the ripe age of 24? Not even my parents care if I have a man or not. I just don't care really.

Anyway... so she drags me to talk to this dude. He's not really all that cute and kinda pudgy... and as I found out, knows more tagalog than I do. Plus - he looked about 40.

She dropped the whole thing when I said I was Catholic. Yeah... I don't get it either.

Anyway... that was my weekend.

Ciao, my pretties.


At 7:35 AM, July 11, 2005, Anonymous e said...

Hey girl, sorry about the jerk -- he actually told you that; how crazy!!!

It'll all be okay...we should chill sometime!! :o)

At 12:34 PM, July 11, 2005, Anonymous Hazel said...

aww...sorry about that asshole, but the world is full of them. but dont get discouraged, the right guy is out there and you're too sweet and hot to miss.

im not busy after tuesday of this week. dunno about the weekend. but just call me. we'll have lunch or something.

At 9:50 PM, July 12, 2005, Anonymous jenn said...

it makes me feel a little better to know i'm not the only one learning lately that men are scum. i'm swearing off of them. who needs them.

i've been meaning to ask you if you like this blogger more than xanga...


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